I have always wanted to be a mother. Ever since I was a little girl and would read to my cabbage patch dolls and play house with my friends. I would even dress up my cat in our old baby clothes and carry her around like a baby.
I always wanted to take care of a baby and nurture a choice spirit of our Heavenly Father. I wanted my own family. I took every opportunity I could get to babysit the kids in the neighborhood or take care of my little cousins. I thought of all the fun things I would do with my own children someday and how great it would be to be a mom.
When I first found out I was pregnant I have admit those were not the first thoughts I had. I thought of my schooling and my temporal goals. I thought I was a failure because I didn’t think I would graduate anymore after all my hard work (and loans…) In short, I was selfish. And I am ashamed that it was like that.
Then pregnancy happened. And pregnancy was {so hard.} And I thought even more of how crazy this is. I thought so many times that I wouldn’t make it. And I thought a baby would just be too much right now. But I knew the Lord had a bigger plan than my own.
And then my precious baby was born. And all those thoughts completely vanished. I never thought I could love someone so much! I wanted nothing more at that moment than to just be {Elijah’s mother.}
more to come…
No comments:
Post a Comment